My Sister

I’ve been thinking about my sister a lot lately. In May she was diagnosed with Stage 3b breast cancer and has undergone several treatments of chemotherapy. Tomorrow, October 31^st she will have surgery. I know it’s natural for her to be on my mind through all this…hoping she’s okay and not anxious…wishing I was not 1,000 miles away…praying for her to have complete peace about the procedure and confidence in her doctors… you know, the normal stuff.  I want to put on my “Super Sis” cape, swoop in and save the day for her!

But covering all of that is a deep sense of gratitude that she’s MY sister!  I have memories of her that no one else has or knows about.  I have a love for her that is like none other.  I’ve always been amazed that two females from the exact same gene pool (one I’m very grateful for!) can be so completely different.   Oops! For 50+ years I’ve told her that we found her in a basket on the front doorstep!  I guess the secret is out now!  Yes, we are true biological sisters.  : )   I must say she was a beautiful baby!  I was not even five when she was born, but she carries her baby picture in her wallet to this day, so I can’t help but remember she was a prettier baby than I was!  For a while she volunteered at the zoo and once brought a huge snake home…and it slept in her bed with her!  Still give me the willies just thinking about it!!! But she LOVES animals…. always has and I imagine she always will.  and I remember weird things...her love of Yogi Bear, Beanie & Cecil, Mr Moose from Captain Kangaroo.  I don't even remember MY favorite cartoons but I remember hers!!!

Life has not always been easy for her but I think she has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  She forgives when I don’t know if I could have. She loves…and has two wonderful loving sons who learned from her example. She is patient…the ‘quiet’ daughter.  Me….not so ‘quiet’!  Ever!  I know she’s not perfect, but she’s the perfect sister for me.  I’m so proud of her!  The courage she has displayed over the last 5 months isn’t something new.  It’s who she is. It has been an honor and privilege to pray for her on this journey. It has made my faith stronger. It has made our relationship stronger. This morning my pastor reminded us that when trials come…and they will come…it’s our choice whether we will resent God for the trial or rejoice in it because of the work that He’s doing in me through it. My choice.  Am I passing the ‘acid test’ of this trial? I know this is really her trial, but I’m amazed at the impact it has made on me.  We have cried together. We have talked through nausea on the phone. We have shared things that God is teaching us.  And I am grateful.  I pray that His purpose will be fulfilled in both of us…and that purpose is two-fold….that my/our faith may prove to be authentic and that God may be praised, honored and glorified. (again, from my pastor. thanks Pastor Dave!)

I know I will be a Nervous Nelly tomorrow waiting for the call that says she’s in recovery and doing fine!  A day of prayer for me!  And prayers from lots of my friends here in NJ!  I love you, Sheeshee!  We’ve come a long way and still have a ways to go!  Looking forward to my visit in 11 days to see you, rejoice with you, laugh and maybe cry, make plans for Christmas and give thanks to our Faithful God!

“The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”  Psalm 116:5-7

I am Fred.

Okay, I know that’s a weird title – and no, Fred is not writing this blog post. (He IS a smart dog, but he’s lazy!)

This morning, like most mornings, after letting Fred out I gathered my Bible, my prayer journal, devotional book, found my quiet place and settled in to start my day with God. And, like most mornings, Fred jumped up beside me, pressing into me, looking up into my eyes as if to say, “I’m here now and Mommy, I love you!”.  He always does that, but today it struck me as such a clear picture of all God wants from me – from us – to stop long enough to gaze on His face, to press into Him, to just love Him back.  He couldn’t care less about what religion I am – He just wants a relationship.  That’s why He created us…for relationship and fellowship with Him!

But my analogy of Fred didn’t stop there. This dog loves me unconditionally! He doesn’t always understand or like what happens in his life – like being put outside for the day when everyone else goes to work – but he’s totally dependent on me and trusts me to take care of his every need… and knows I’m coming back!  When I get home at the end of the day, he is so happy to see me! So happy that he runs to find a gift for me, usually a stuffed animal – with or without the stuffing – and it always makes me smile and laugh.  The only thing I expect from him is love and obedience.

So I ask myself – Do I love my Father unconditionally?  Even when I don’t understand or like what He’s doing in my life?  Am I totally dependent on Him? (I AM whether I realize it or not!) Do I trust Him to supply my every need?  Am I happy and eager to greet Him each day – longing to see Him and spend time with Him? And even my gifts – wow – what a picture! God doesn’t NEED my money, or my time, or my skills. He doesn’t NEED anything from me…but oh how it must delight Him and bring a smile to His face when I run to Him with all I have and lay it at His feet.

All He wants is a relationship with me. For me to love Him, to spend time in His Word and do what it says. It’s as simple as a dog’s life.  Are you Fred? or Gracie? or Chip? or Summer? or Rover?  (I have never known a dog named Rover – have you?) 

I am Fred.

"And I - in righteousness I will see Your face; when I awake I will be satisfied with seeing Your likeness." -Psalm 17:15

SUP #5

Wow. I can't believe it's been so long since I posted an update on my sister! After her hospital stay in July they changed her meds....and she hasn't been sick at all!! Thank you gracious God!!  She's been feeling good and has been going to work! The last doctor's report was that the tumor was shrinking. Next Monday, September 26 is her last scheduled chemo treatment. Three weeks after that she will probably have another PETscan and it will be determined if she still needs surgery or not.  At her request our prayers are that the tumor will be completely gone and surgery won't be needed.  But either way, we will be grateful to a faithful God! 

As many of you know, a friend & co-worker of mine will be participating in the Susan G Komen 3-day Walk in Philadelphia in October...and will be walking for Leisha and a couple of other very special ladies.  Every participant of the 3-day  is required to raise a minimum of $2,300 in donations and I'm ecstatic that Kristen has more than met her goal!  She has worked so hard to raise the money and I will be forever grateful to her.  Thank you Kristen!!!  If you would still like to donate in my sis's name, here's the link...

http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/2011/PhiladelphiaEvent2011?px=5988602&pg=personal&fr_id=1624